I’ve been reminded again and again over the last few days how easy it is to disassociate from people we don’t know. It’s easy to think that people we don’t know don’t have any issues or pain, and on an even farther scale, that they are actually somehow evil or bad. The thing is, we are all human. We all go through this thing called life, and not a single person has it easy. We are all here to learn and grow and figure out what the meaning is for each of us. No one has the right to determine that for anyone else.
Boundaries come from a place of deep love. Yes, they come from self-care, but they actually come from deep love of the other person/people as well. When we set boundaries, it is a realistic expectation, and it comes from a realistic state of being.
A common pairing I have seen recently is INFJ and ISTP. The only type preference that these two types have in common is introversion. That means that there can be a lot of misunderstanding between these two types, and a lot of heartbreak and confusion can occur. The great thing about MBTI is that you can use it to understand your partner and figure out where they are coming from. So, let’s break down the three letters following introversion, and the primary & secondary cognitive function of each type.
Everyone uses all eight letters of the MBTI. However, everyone also has a natural preference for one letter over the other, which makes up your four-letter type. When we use our preference letter that is not natural to us too often, this is what causes us stress. For example, an introvert who is in sales as a career may experience stress throughout the day, or exhaustion at the end of a long day, in which they had to speak and outwardly express themselves to many individuals. This does mean the introvert is not good at sales, it just means that they are living outside of their normal preference letter.
As we approach a new year, I’ve started to reflect on the year 2020 (not an easy task), and also start to plan and prepare for 2021. I have never been a fan of new year resolutions. We tend to aim too high, and don’t have a clear plan or path to actually get to our goals. Then, we get disappointed in ourselves and all that negative self-talk comes in. I’ve been guilty of this too, I think everyone does it because we get really excited about a new beginning and a “fresh start” and we forget that we are only actually human, and nothing changes all that quickly (le sigh).
Asking for help when you need it is HARD. I am actually BAD at it. When I say bad, I mean really bad. I never want to bother anyone and have them think of me as “needy”. I always want to be and appear fiercely independent and I always think I can do everything myself.
Do you ever feel embarrassed in social situations? Like you’ve just done and said all the wrong things? Don’t worry, you aren’t alone. We’ve all been there, and the reality is that it will likely happen at some point. This does tend to affect introverts more often, but I have talked to many extroverts who experience the same feelings and fear of being judged by others. It’s life and it happens to most of us.
I have learned the hard way that sometimes just saying what is on your mind is actually a win-win for everyone. When something happens that I feel betrayed by (this can be anything – even something I feel is tiny), my instant reaction is to spiral into anger and frustration. It takes courage to speak your mind and tell someone how you are feeling. For me, it takes a bit of mental preparation, but I have found that speaking my mind is a great way to connect and even feel closer in my closest relationships.