Social Shame

Do you ever feel embarrassed in social situations? Like you’ve just done and said all the wrong things? Don’t worry, you aren’t alone. We’ve all been there, and the reality is that it will likely happen at some point. This does tend to affect introverts more often, but I have talked to many extroverts who experience the same feelings and fear of being judged by others. It’s life and it happens to most of us.

The trick is to not beat yourself up about it! Easier said than done, right?

A friend of mine recently taught me that knowing you are not alone is a huge relief. Just zooming out and thinking about all the people on the planet who very likely have had or are currently feeling their own feelings of shame and inadequacy makes us feel infinitely less alone.

Another thought is to just laugh about it. Even if you didn’t laugh about it in the moment, try smiling now. Think about how silly it was and put a smile on your face. I am not saying to make light of serious issues but smiling about something you feel silly for is a good way to see it for what it is, silly. It puts a childlike spin on the memory and makes it so much less daunting.

Lastly, try talking about it with someone you trust. This goes to the concept of shame resilience by Brene Brown. The more we shed light on what we perceive as the horrors of our subconscious, the less power those thoughts have over us. Talking about it, and bringing it out into the open, is a good way to shed light on something. Just make sure you talk to someone you trust, and it isn’t to someone who will continue the shame spiral.

Let me know in the comments or by email if you too struggle with this. I am still perfecting being gracious with and loving myself. It takes time, but it is worth it.



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