Asking for help when you need it is HARD. I am actually BAD at it. When I say bad, I mean really bad. I never want to bother anyone and have them think of me as “needy”. I always want to be and appear fiercely independent and I always think I can do everything myself. This way of thinking has caused me severe anxiety, and several times over the period of my life, extreme depression as well. I know everyone always says “ask for help when you need it,” but I never fully understood this concept. When someone says that, I picture myself on the side of the road with a broken-down car and calling my significant other for help. In truth, that is actually an extreme example. Sometimes, it can be as simple as asking for a fifteen-minute break at work, when the emails and tasks have become too overwhelming. OR it could be asking a team member to do something for you that would normally take you twenty or so minutes, just to get something small off your plate. You could even ask for help on a big project. I’ve even learned that sometimes I need to ask my neighbor to let me use the washing machine before they do, if I need to be somewhere and they don’t have plans. Like I said, such a small thing. But I tend to put others needs before mine, and then I get stressed and tired. I think a lot of us are people pleasers and we want people to be happy with us, and we want to be low-maintenance.
But I challenge you to this today: ask for something. It can be something really small, like asking your s/o to draw you a bath, or light a candle to create a meditative space. Ask a friend if you can vent for fifteen minutes. That is asking for something, and it’s enough to take a small (or large) burden, and make it feel less cumbersome.