Hi soul friends!
I am revitalizing this blog & discussing my newest endeavor, attachment styles for the INFJ personality type. Although this can apply to any personality type, INFJs do tend to have insecure attachment styles, so it’s very applicable to them.
To quickly define what we mean by attachment styles, there are four main styles:
1. Secure: a healthy bond is established between two people with healthy boundaries; this means that the boundaries are not too rigid or fluid. Communication leads the two people to become closer instead of creating a crack in the relationship.
2. Anxious: An anxious attachment style means a person anxiously attaches to their partner (or a friend). An anxious style means that when a person withdraws their energy from the anxiously attached person, they will feel this energetic withdrawal and start getting really anxious. They will go into a trauma response* and fear very deeply of being abandoned.
3. Avoidant: An avoidant attachment style means that a person has difficulty connecting with another person. They may start to feel irritated or exhausted by another person and choose to self-isolate instead of continuing to develop a connection. This insecure attachment style leads people to go into a trauma response* when intimacy is activated.
4. Disorganized: This attachment style typically comes from a child being terribly confused by their parents. They may have an abusive or narcissistic parent. They will go back and forth between anxious and avoidant and commonly go into a trauma response* when they are in a romantic relationship or even a friendship or family relationship.
*trauma response refers to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn
Insecure attachment styles come from the way we are raised and the way we attached to our parents. It can even relate to our birthing experience and our mother’s emotions when we were born. Because INFJ energy is so porous, we not only pick up on our parents’ attachment styles, but we also feel their energy related to their attachments with other people, but most importantly, their romantic partners. We typically (but not always) develop the energetic attachment pattern in our relationships later in life. The good news is that all of this can be overcome, and we can all learn to develop secure attachments with a partner and friends.
That’s all for today! Follow my blog for more information and guidance in INFJ relationships.
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Love,
Teal