New Year Intentions

As we approach a new year, I’ve started to reflect on the year 2020 (not an easy task), and also start to plan and prepare for 2021. I have never been a fan of new year resolutions. We tend to aim too high, and don’t have a clear plan or path to actually get to our goals. Then, we get disappointed in ourselves and all that negative self-talk comes in. I’ve been guilty of this too, I think everyone does it because we get really excited about a new beginning and a “fresh start” and we forget that we are only actually human, and nothing changes all that quickly (le sigh).

Anyway, I’d like to propose an easier way of living. Instead of setting resolutions, why not set several small intentions? Some examples that I have come up with for myself this year are: be open to making new friends and reach out to one or a few new people; when faced with a choice, pick the healthy option; when exhausted and worn out, take time for myself and ask for help when needed; give myself permission to stop being such a perfectionist/people pleaser. I am super excited for all of these intentions, and they aren’t big life changing goals. They are just small things that I can do for myself that will make me healthier and happier.

So what are your intentions for 2021? Let me know in the comments or email me:

infinitetealskies@gmail.com

I’d love to hear from you, and if you are interested in learning more about your MBTI type, I’m here for that as well! See my personality type consultation tab on my webpage.

Much love always,

Teal

Asking For Help

Asking for help when you need it is HARD. I am actually BAD at it. When I say bad, I mean really bad. I never want to bother anyone and have them think of me as “needy”. I always want to be and appear fiercely independent and I always think I can do everything myself. This way of thinking has caused me severe anxiety, and several times over the period of my life, extreme depression as well. I know everyone always says “ask for help when you need it,” but I never fully understood this concept. When someone says that, I picture myself on the side of the road with a broken-down car and calling my significant other for help. In truth, that is actually an extreme example. Sometimes, it can be as simple as asking for a fifteen-minute break at work, when the emails and tasks have become too overwhelming. OR it could be asking a team member to do something for you that would normally take you twenty or so minutes, just to get something small off your plate. You could even ask for help on a big project. I’ve even learned that sometimes I need to ask my neighbor to let me use the washing machine before they do, if I need to be somewhere and they don’t have plans. Like I said, such a small thing. But I tend to put others needs before mine, and then I get stressed and tired. I think a lot of us are people pleasers and we want people to be happy with us, and we want to be low-maintenance.

But I challenge you to this today: ask for something. It can be something really small, like asking your s/o to draw you a bath, or light a candle to create a meditative space. Ask a friend if you can vent for fifteen minutes. That is asking for something, and it’s enough to take a small (or large) burden, and make it feel less cumbersome.

Love,

Teal

Personality Type Consultation

Hi everyone! I am now a MBTI® certified practitioner! If you have taken the paid test, or a free test before and are interested in learning more, I am your girl 🙂

My fee is $200 per session, and I will learn more about you and ask questions to get to your preferred personality type. We will work through each set of personality type letters, and determine your best fit type. Feel free to reach out to me with questions as well. Here are some of the reasons why you may want to know your preferred type:

» Great for determining your best fit career, or finding a new career if your current career doesn’t fit

» Great for finding common ground with others and understanding where they may be coming from

» Dig in to determine why you answered the questions the way you did, and determine if this is really your best fit type

» It’s essential for wellness and self care. To determine what you need to be your best self, you must first understand yourself

There are multiple other reasons to find out your preferred type and I am here to help!

Email me for questions, or to set up your session.

Happy Sunday!

Teal

5 Strengths Finder

Have you ever wondered what roles you are best suited for? What work and what your purpose in life is? I found the strengths finder website through work of all places, but I found it to be very enlightening.

My first strength is spirituality, which shocked me at first, but now it makes a lot of sense. I find myself searching for a higher purpose, almost more than I do anything else. I study and find all religion fascinating and, recently, I have been studying shamanism and find it to align very deeply with what I feel is real and true. However, I do consider myself more spiritual than religious.

My second strength is love of learning which makes so much sense. I have hundreds of books, and hundreds more on a list to read because I want all the information. I take new classes pretty much monthly. It almost seems impossible to read, learn and obtain all of it, but the love I have for learning is something I feel that I should use going forward in life. I don’t feel consistently happy without learning, but of course, only learning things I am truly interested in.

My third strength is forgiveness, which means I typically give people second, third and even fourth chances, as well as not being very vengeful, and I let things go easily. I don’t take things so seriously, and I recognize that most people are just trying their best.

My fourth strength is perspective, meaning I am able to see things from all perspectives, and am able to provide counsel to others with solutions they might not have otherwise been able to see.

My fifth strength is appreciation of beauty and excellence, which means that I can see the beauty in most all situations, as well as in art, performances, etc. It’s probably why I love Broadway so much!

It is my belief that these five strengths culminate into the love of helping people and making a difference in people’s worlds and lives. I truly hope to do more of that in the near future and my life seems to be streamlining fast in that direction. I think that this strength’s finder test really does help find your purpose. Give it a shot and let me know what you find out about yourself! Link below to take the free survey.

Love,

Teal

https://www.viacharacter.org/

Deleting Social Media

Happy Sunday everyone! I have done something recently, thanks to my desire to take back my power in terms of what controls my attention and takes up most of my time. I have deleted ALL social media off of my phone. Let me tell you, it has only been a week, but it is life changing.

When I’m sitting on the couch watching a movie, I actually WATCH the movie (a novel idea, eh?), before going to bed, I actually just go to bed instead of scrolling mindlessly through my phone. That being said, I don’t think I ever had a terrible habit with social media, but the time and attention I am getting back in my day is astounding. I also feel better. I have started to be able to stop reacting from a space of irritation and focus on how I actually want to respond – this coming from a combination of things (meditating, journaling, eating well, somatic therapy, etc), but the social media zapping being the final straw that led me to be more present, and more focused on my relationships, AND on myself!!

Try it? Maybe? Haha, let me know what you think 😊 P.S. I even deleted LinkedIn….

Love you all,

Teal

Personality Traits – Genetic or Learned?

Have you ever wondered whether your personality traits are learned or are they genetic? Something that has been on my mind recently, (and I have been talking to everyone who will listen to me about), is the concept of whether personality traits are genetic or “learned”. I had a discussion with my s/o about this and he brought up the great point that your brain creates neural pathways, and as a program runs that neural pathway over and over, it gets worn into your brain (this is proven scientific fact). In that instance, this could potentially create a personality trait because when your brain is presented with information, your brain will run its natural worn path. In MBTI, the letters are your preference indicators, meaning that you respond and react to certain information in one of two ways with each letter. I always thought that this was genetic (I am an INFJ and my mom and dad are INFJ and INTJ, respectively). But now I am wondering if this is a nature vs nurture question, or maybe a little of both. So, it is possible that you learn your preferences from your parents, and those that have opposite personality types from their parents could have learned that a certain trait was negative. For example, if someone has two extremely extroverted parents, and that child ended up seeing it as a negative trait. The child ends up pulling more into themselves, seeing how much their parents go out and how often they talk, and then it’s possible the extroverted parents created an introverted child. It’s just a thought, I’d love to hear what others have to say! Let me know what you think in the comments 😊

Also, for reference, the MBTI preference indicators are introvert vs. extrovert, intuitive vs. sensing, thinking vs. feeling and perceiving vs. judging.

The Old Soul Warrior Archetype

Going back to my musings on archetypes, I’d like to focus in on two parts to archetypes. One of the archetypes: the warrior archetype, and the “age” of the archetype. My mom is a warrior archetype, but she is an old soul version. There are levels within each archetype, and the most mature is the old soul. The younger, less mature, warrior archetypes are the “fight starting” people of the world.

The warriors of the world are very competitive and strive to be the best they can be at whatever it is they are passionate about. Whether they use this for good or evil is up to them. A young warrior may use his/her tough exterior to get their way in the world and make a lot of money, whereas an older warrior may fight for a cause they are passionate about, such as poverty or hunger.

Warriors can be great teachers, especially if they are more mature warrior. Seek out an old soul warrior if you are interested in starting a new business or fighting for a cause. They are great mentors.

Let me know in the comments if you are a warrior archetype!

Love,

Teal

Sensors versus Intuitives

Happy Sunday readers!

Today I am going to write about what I have really been doing these past few weeks….I am working on getting my MBTI certification! I am so excited and absolutely love learning about this revolutionary stuff. I just re-took the test and got strong preferences for the four letters that I always have tested as, INFJ.

I thought I’d talk about the differences between sensing and intuitive types, since I have found that these type differences are the most confusing for people to understand. I want to bust one myth – that intuitives are creative and sensors are not. The truth is…

BOTH types are creative. The difference is that sensory types take something that already exists, and they tweak it and adjust it to make it better, to make it more efficient. Intuitive types prefer to come up with a brand-new idea and base their creative endeavors in theory and ideas. Sensory types base their creative endeavors in fact and existing creations. Sensors love details and are annoyed by the big picture without the facts, intuitives love the big picture and are annoyed by the details without the vision.

Which one are you? Let me know in the comments. Remember, there is NO right or wrong type. It is a preference indicator and helps people to understand how you perceive the world. It is NOT indicative of the type of person you are (i.e. good versus evil). Also, let me know if you are interested in hearing more about the differences in type, and what questions you have. I am here for you!

Love,

Teal

Take the test:

https://www.mbtionline.com/en-US/Products/For-you

The Artisan Archetype

So…going back to my post a few weeks ago on the archetypes, I thought I’d share a bit about how each type has had its impact on me in life. Reminder that I am the server archetype. Today I’ll start with the artisans.

I naturally attract and am attracted to artisans. Most of my significant others have been artisans, and my current significant other is an artisan. My best friend is an artisan. They are fun, spontaneous people who live life by the seat of their pants. They don’t tend to gravitate to schedules or structure. In MBTI speak, they are usually “P”s, as in they have the perceiving function, versus the “J” function, which is judging. There is a lot of misconception about judging, it does not mean that people who are J types are judgmental. It means that they perceive the world through the lens of a set schedule and plan. Going back to artisans, who are typically perceivers, perceive situations before deciding or planning a course of action, where judgers like to have a plan in place before they have the opportunity to perceive the situation. Artisans like to be open and casual, with the ability to plan at the last second. My type indicator is “J”, which means planning something at the last minute is absolute torture for me. Artisans are great for me because they teach me to be more spontaneous, and not to worry so much if we don’t have every detail figured out and solved long before the actual event occurs. I appreciate artisans, and how creative and flexible they are. They are natural creators and inventors, and the world needs their beautiful souls. They have the ability to create and find solutions, even when their backs are up against the wall.

Look up the archetypes if you are curious which one you are, and feel free to leave a question or comment! Next week, I will write about the warrior archetype.

Social Shame

Do you ever feel embarrassed in social situations? Like you’ve just done and said all the wrong things? Don’t worry, you aren’t alone. We’ve all been there, and the reality is that it will likely happen at some point. This does tend to affect introverts more often, but I have talked to many extroverts who experience the same feelings and fear of being judged by others. It’s life and it happens to most of us.

The trick is to not beat yourself up about it! Easier said than done, right?

A friend of mine recently taught me that knowing you are not alone is a huge relief. Just zooming out and thinking about all the people on the planet who very likely have had or are currently feeling their own feelings of shame and inadequacy makes us feel infinitely less alone.

Another thought is to just laugh about it. Even if you didn’t laugh about it in the moment, try smiling now. Think about how silly it was and put a smile on your face. I am not saying to make light of serious issues but smiling about something you feel silly for is a good way to see it for what it is, silly. It puts a childlike spin on the memory and makes it so much less daunting.

Lastly, try talking about it with someone you trust. This goes to the concept of shame resilience by Brene Brown. The more we shed light on what we perceive as the horrors of our subconscious, the less power those thoughts have over us. Talking about it, and bringing it out into the open, is a good way to shed light on something. Just make sure you talk to someone you trust, and it isn’t to someone who will continue the shame spiral.

Let me know in the comments or by email if you too struggle with this. I am still perfecting being gracious with and loving myself. It takes time, but it is worth it.

Love,

Teal